so....I'm coming to the realization that I'm still bitten by the travelling bug. I thought that I would not want to go to New Zealand since I've had such bitter resentments towards there for the last month and bit....but funnily enough... I still really want to go. It had been a goal of mine, and I still kind of want to see it through. I started working out 6 months ago, faithfully, 3-4 times a week, every week, not only for the benefit of my lungs and to stay off of the transplant list, but also so I would be able to visit my former boyfriend in NZ while he went over there for teachers college. Every day when I got on the treadmill it spurned me on, drove me. It was a good goal to have...and I still want that goal. I still want to go to that side of the world and see it. I want to go to Australia and NZ. One of my dearest friends is out in Australia for teachers college. She is home this Christmas break and it is so good to see her again after almost a year! We've been best buds since we were 5 years old. Another good gf is in Australia working, and my cousin is starting teachers college in feb. in Australia, plus one of my favourite resident doctors moved back to NZ, and I would love to go see her. With all these people over there, I still really want to go. It sounds like a pipe dream doesn't it? But it's a dream, and a goal and I want to achieve it.
Here I was thinking I would get away with not spending all that money to go half way across the world since the reason I was going , he's no longer part of my life...but now I realize...I just want to go anyways for me. SO here is my dream for 2010...how I'm going to make it a reality...
keep working out...my oxygen was really good yesterday while working out, and in two days, I am going to increase my running program up to 2 minutes times 4 with fast hiking inbetween. I have not been able to increase my running as quickly as Ronnie from RSR blog, but I've managed to get up to 2 minutes of running, which for someone sittin' at 23% lung function, and could not run for 10 seconds when I first started, I am not doin' to shabby at almost 2 minutes of running, hah, . exciting, but scary.
I am going to really start dreaming and doing big with my business, so I can make enough money to finance my trip to the other side of the world comfortably....
Maybe tomorrow I will feel differently, but today and this week...my dream and goal is to make it to the other side of the world before these ol' lungs go caput!
For 2010...I'm going to think big...and dream bigger.
One of the best advice one of my nurses ever gave me was...CF is just one little part of Hattie...all of this is who Hattie is...yes sometimes CF can seem like it is the only thing in our lives but really, it is just one little part of us, we're so much more, so lets dream like we are....
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Birthday
Tomorrow is my birthday. 22 years old.
I decorated my apartment with all my grandmothers old Christmas decorations. I cut down a little charlie brown type tree at my uncles farm for my apartment. My apartment looks so cute. I'm really pleased.
Christmas is so soon. It's funny how someone so important and such a huge part of me for the last five years is no longer part of my life...and how other people have just stepped in to fill the hole he left behind. Life goes on. I could not even stop it. New things have started happening to me. Life just continues on, it's truly amazing. I am blessed with so many great people in my life and all the new ones that I keep meeting and creating new friendships with. It's weird to think of what my life was like five weeks ago to what it's like now.
I recieved my first birthday present, and it sat under my christmas tree for a few days, but finally I opened it yesterday. It was the best present ever from my Cystic systa. Two margarita hand painted glasses, with recipes on the bottom of them, one is called Cadillac, with pretty pink cars all over it, and the other is called princess with beautiful princess theme all over it. They are actual margarita glasses, I am tickled pink, and cannot wait to have a margarita in them! Thanks soo much girl!
I worked out today, and my oxygen was great. It was fairly easy to work out today too. Last week I worked out four times...I know I didn't get my fifth work out in...buh. It seems the weekend I never am able to get the work out in. I really have to try to change that.
45 more minutes and I'll be 22...that seems so young, yet old.
I am excited to see this year be over. 2010, brings new and exciting things, I feel it.
Happy birthday to my older brother as well, he turns 24 tomorrow. My parents were blessed with two Christmas babies, two years apart. My older brother was not impressed the year I was born and mom was in the hospital for his b-day.
I'm off to bed, up early, as customers are still coming over to purchase jewellery, last minute shoppers! I also have tons of food to prepare for my birthday party tomorrow. 15 girls? chaos. muchos fun. Merry Christmas everyone! 36 more days till barbados!
I decorated my apartment with all my grandmothers old Christmas decorations. I cut down a little charlie brown type tree at my uncles farm for my apartment. My apartment looks so cute. I'm really pleased.
Christmas is so soon. It's funny how someone so important and such a huge part of me for the last five years is no longer part of my life...and how other people have just stepped in to fill the hole he left behind. Life goes on. I could not even stop it. New things have started happening to me. Life just continues on, it's truly amazing. I am blessed with so many great people in my life and all the new ones that I keep meeting and creating new friendships with. It's weird to think of what my life was like five weeks ago to what it's like now.
I recieved my first birthday present, and it sat under my christmas tree for a few days, but finally I opened it yesterday. It was the best present ever from my Cystic systa. Two margarita hand painted glasses, with recipes on the bottom of them, one is called Cadillac, with pretty pink cars all over it, and the other is called princess with beautiful princess theme all over it. They are actual margarita glasses, I am tickled pink, and cannot wait to have a margarita in them! Thanks soo much girl!
I worked out today, and my oxygen was great. It was fairly easy to work out today too. Last week I worked out four times...I know I didn't get my fifth work out in...buh. It seems the weekend I never am able to get the work out in. I really have to try to change that.
45 more minutes and I'll be 22...that seems so young, yet old.
I am excited to see this year be over. 2010, brings new and exciting things, I feel it.
Happy birthday to my older brother as well, he turns 24 tomorrow. My parents were blessed with two Christmas babies, two years apart. My older brother was not impressed the year I was born and mom was in the hospital for his b-day.
I'm off to bed, up early, as customers are still coming over to purchase jewellery, last minute shoppers! I also have tons of food to prepare for my birthday party tomorrow. 15 girls? chaos. muchos fun. Merry Christmas everyone! 36 more days till barbados!
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
work out three times this week thus far! woo
alright...it's time for me to go back to barbados....today my oxygen levels at rest are bouncing around between 87-92...what the heck! I don't even get it.
I took respiractin (this natural anti inflammation stuff I've been trying, and after I took it, my oxygen went up to 93 and stayed there resting) but now it is back to being wonky...I think I am obessing over my oximeter wayy to much. Plus I'm exhausted, maybe that has to do with the oxygen levels? I was out with a friend till 1 last night and up at 8 today...me and these late nights...I am going to have to curb it in! haha
Last night though while reading before bed, I was 94 resting oxygen with a heart rate in the 80's woo. normally in the 100's from all the ventolin and puffers, so to be in the 80's means no infection, normally my heart rate is racing...and not just around jake gyllenhal who is tres hot, and was in the movie we saw last night, if you have not seen brothers, definitely take a gander at it. it's a really good movie. I was surprised. The movie selection has been quite disappointing lately though at the theatres. Although I will admit I do want to see the new princess movie out haha. I'll wait till next Cheap Tuesday night though. I'm a sucker for Disney, what can I say.
I've been able to keep up my running program 1 minute 45 seconds times 4 with walking at 3.4mph for three minutes in between each run. My oxygen when running has improved as well. I'm so proud of myself that I have been able to start running..even if it is with oxygen and for only 1 minute 45 seconds...believe me this is a HUGE deal with someone who has these poop lungs in them!...in the new year I'm going to increase it up to 2 minutes...wow so scary. I never even was able to do that when my lung function was up in the 50's! power to working out! what a difference.
I am so busy this weekend as well. It's a good thing I'm taking vitamin C every day, twice a day, like its candy so that so far I have been fortunate enough not to get sick with a cold! Thanks to everyone for staying away from me when you have the sniffles!
Counting down the days till I'm in bdo's again.....49 days. yay! Please hold on lungs, 49 more days and then you can crash and burn....not literally I just mean, then we can go in for a tune up, if we need to. It's almost that time where I need a tune up on IV's. Even though I just got my picc line out, it's been since July since I had any IV's. I just hope these little girls can last 49 days till I'm in that salty air and heat again!
So far this week I've worked out every day since Monday. I was talking to a fellow who had 16% lung function two years ago and had a pager and was on the transplant list for new lungs, today he has 40%. He wanted to spend his life with his wife...he wanted to be around for her. So he got motivated and started working out, and low and behold, he got off the transplant list, and now works out 2-3 hours every day. The power of Love eh? Inspiration for the CF community, yes. EXERCISE like your life depends on it...cause quite frankly... your life does.
My goal this week. Work out Monday-Friday. Friday night I'm going out dancing, so perhaps that will count as a double work out day? Saturday night there also might be dancing involved...so I'd like to put that down as a work out as well! haha anyways I have to get going for some dinner...or ice cream...whichever one is more readily available ha!
I took respiractin (this natural anti inflammation stuff I've been trying, and after I took it, my oxygen went up to 93 and stayed there resting) but now it is back to being wonky...I think I am obessing over my oximeter wayy to much. Plus I'm exhausted, maybe that has to do with the oxygen levels? I was out with a friend till 1 last night and up at 8 today...me and these late nights...I am going to have to curb it in! haha
Last night though while reading before bed, I was 94 resting oxygen with a heart rate in the 80's woo. normally in the 100's from all the ventolin and puffers, so to be in the 80's means no infection, normally my heart rate is racing...and not just around jake gyllenhal who is tres hot, and was in the movie we saw last night, if you have not seen brothers, definitely take a gander at it. it's a really good movie. I was surprised. The movie selection has been quite disappointing lately though at the theatres. Although I will admit I do want to see the new princess movie out haha. I'll wait till next Cheap Tuesday night though. I'm a sucker for Disney, what can I say.
I've been able to keep up my running program 1 minute 45 seconds times 4 with walking at 3.4mph for three minutes in between each run. My oxygen when running has improved as well. I'm so proud of myself that I have been able to start running..even if it is with oxygen and for only 1 minute 45 seconds...believe me this is a HUGE deal with someone who has these poop lungs in them!...in the new year I'm going to increase it up to 2 minutes...wow so scary. I never even was able to do that when my lung function was up in the 50's! power to working out! what a difference.
I am so busy this weekend as well. It's a good thing I'm taking vitamin C every day, twice a day, like its candy so that so far I have been fortunate enough not to get sick with a cold! Thanks to everyone for staying away from me when you have the sniffles!
Counting down the days till I'm in bdo's again.....49 days. yay! Please hold on lungs, 49 more days and then you can crash and burn....not literally I just mean, then we can go in for a tune up, if we need to. It's almost that time where I need a tune up on IV's. Even though I just got my picc line out, it's been since July since I had any IV's. I just hope these little girls can last 49 days till I'm in that salty air and heat again!
So far this week I've worked out every day since Monday. I was talking to a fellow who had 16% lung function two years ago and had a pager and was on the transplant list for new lungs, today he has 40%. He wanted to spend his life with his wife...he wanted to be around for her. So he got motivated and started working out, and low and behold, he got off the transplant list, and now works out 2-3 hours every day. The power of Love eh? Inspiration for the CF community, yes. EXERCISE like your life depends on it...cause quite frankly... your life does.
My goal this week. Work out Monday-Friday. Friday night I'm going out dancing, so perhaps that will count as a double work out day? Saturday night there also might be dancing involved...so I'd like to put that down as a work out as well! haha anyways I have to get going for some dinner...or ice cream...whichever one is more readily available ha!
Monday, December 14, 2009
"I'm alone on a bicycle for two"
boy...how long will this roller coaster of emotions continue?
It's exhausting. Today was one of the bad days....but in the words of Scarlett O'Hara "I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow."
It's exhausting. Today was one of the bad days....but in the words of Scarlett O'Hara "I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow."
Sunday, December 13, 2009
go go go go go...so busy
this is the first time i've had time to actually sit down and write a good long blog.
I like writing this blog, because it's something that I can go back and look on, and re read about what i was feeling, and going through at that point in my life.
Last Tuesday I had clinic...majorly dissapointing...my lung function was down for the first time in 5 months. I had been rock solid at .81 and even increased it to .83 a month ago...now i am down to .77...my white blood cell count was up at 17! the normal is 11, three weeks before they were at 20...so they were down a bit...so infection still though. bah! I just finished a course of cipro and septra antibiotics, but they didn't seem to do the trick. Cipro never really works. Anyways so my doc Dr. S. (amazing woman) put me on levoquin and upt my pred! ( I know i know i've been working for months to decrease it) but it seems to be ashtmatic symptoms so I gotta up the pred...anyways so I only upt it 1 mg so far no more of a puffy face then usual, which by the way totally goes down on the days that I work out. I guess the water retention like drains down or something after running and walking for 1 and half miles? 1 mg though seem to be all I need, normally she would have put her patient up to 20 mg but my body is just SO sensitive to prednisone that 1 mg seems to be doing the trick. Levoquin is also helping I think, I was able to back off even more on my insulin, and my SOB (shortness of breath) is decreasing, also my resting oxygen has come back up to 94, phew. it was bouncin' around all over the place, but since Thursday she seems to be stable.
One dissapointing thing this week, I have not worked out since wednesday. I know I feel gross! I have been SOOOO busy though. It's no excuse and I should have organized my time better, but stilll, Thursday I went to Rae Spoon Concert, soo fun. Friday had some girls over, Saturday Christmas house party in the city, and Sunday, afternoon christmas party and Sunday evening welcome home party...I AM POOPED. I have never had so many naps. I have not napped in months...in the last four days I think I have napped every day. Staying up till three in the morning and up at 9am is not my fortay for four nights in a row!
I also spent all three days updating and editing 150 photos for my website. Christmas is 12 days away! Busy time for jewels. I'm hoping I'll get a D40 or D3000 camera on sale in the holiday sales. Also I have done no Christmas shopping...I bought my dad a present before I left for barbados, but I have lost it...I hid it somewhere in my apartment and cannot find it for the life of me!
I cannot wait to just make some jewellery tomorrow, work out, and relax...no plans tomorrow night...hopefully it will stay that way, although the way things have been going, I'll probably end up doing something! haha
I have another busy weekend this weekend though, so I'd like to be low key throughout this week. Thursday through Saturday I am jam packed with things as well. It's good though...I'd be going nuts just sitting at home...thinking...keeping busy allows me only little glimpses of time to think about things...thinking about the things that have happened in the past month sometimes keeps me from sleeping...so I try not to?...
Next Wednesday is my birthday. 22 years old. Good gosh. what an old fart.
Alright so operation work out like mad this week, no skipping three days like last week! Increase lung function back up to .83 then .85 by January 5th appointment day.
Anyways I guess that is it for now! Hope everyone has their Christmas decorations up (I don't...but that's this week's goal too!)
I like writing this blog, because it's something that I can go back and look on, and re read about what i was feeling, and going through at that point in my life.
Last Tuesday I had clinic...majorly dissapointing...my lung function was down for the first time in 5 months. I had been rock solid at .81 and even increased it to .83 a month ago...now i am down to .77...my white blood cell count was up at 17! the normal is 11, three weeks before they were at 20...so they were down a bit...so infection still though. bah! I just finished a course of cipro and septra antibiotics, but they didn't seem to do the trick. Cipro never really works. Anyways so my doc Dr. S. (amazing woman) put me on levoquin and upt my pred! ( I know i know i've been working for months to decrease it) but it seems to be ashtmatic symptoms so I gotta up the pred...anyways so I only upt it 1 mg so far no more of a puffy face then usual, which by the way totally goes down on the days that I work out. I guess the water retention like drains down or something after running and walking for 1 and half miles? 1 mg though seem to be all I need, normally she would have put her patient up to 20 mg but my body is just SO sensitive to prednisone that 1 mg seems to be doing the trick. Levoquin is also helping I think, I was able to back off even more on my insulin, and my SOB (shortness of breath) is decreasing, also my resting oxygen has come back up to 94, phew. it was bouncin' around all over the place, but since Thursday she seems to be stable.
One dissapointing thing this week, I have not worked out since wednesday. I know I feel gross! I have been SOOOO busy though. It's no excuse and I should have organized my time better, but stilll, Thursday I went to Rae Spoon Concert, soo fun. Friday had some girls over, Saturday Christmas house party in the city, and Sunday, afternoon christmas party and Sunday evening welcome home party...I AM POOPED. I have never had so many naps. I have not napped in months...in the last four days I think I have napped every day. Staying up till three in the morning and up at 9am is not my fortay for four nights in a row!
I also spent all three days updating and editing 150 photos for my website. Christmas is 12 days away! Busy time for jewels. I'm hoping I'll get a D40 or D3000 camera on sale in the holiday sales. Also I have done no Christmas shopping...I bought my dad a present before I left for barbados, but I have lost it...I hid it somewhere in my apartment and cannot find it for the life of me!
I cannot wait to just make some jewellery tomorrow, work out, and relax...no plans tomorrow night...hopefully it will stay that way, although the way things have been going, I'll probably end up doing something! haha
I have another busy weekend this weekend though, so I'd like to be low key throughout this week. Thursday through Saturday I am jam packed with things as well. It's good though...I'd be going nuts just sitting at home...thinking...keeping busy allows me only little glimpses of time to think about things...thinking about the things that have happened in the past month sometimes keeps me from sleeping...so I try not to?...
Next Wednesday is my birthday. 22 years old. Good gosh. what an old fart.
Alright so operation work out like mad this week, no skipping three days like last week! Increase lung function back up to .83 then .85 by January 5th appointment day.
Anyways I guess that is it for now! Hope everyone has their Christmas decorations up (I don't...but that's this week's goal too!)
Thursday, December 10, 2009
today is a good day.
brief update here.
1. I'm going to the rae spoon concert with my best girl tonight. so excited.
2. started levo, oxygen coming back slowly I think? (will update on clinic appt. tomorrow)
4. have been able to up my running program to 1 45 seconds x 5 on my work out! woo almost to the 2 minute mark, never thought i'd see the day.
3. shot my jewellery today. took a million hours. so much work. but it's done. website updated tomorrow.
4. i'm going to hear some great music tonight...just so excited.
5. my weekend is jam packed...keeping busy has been key, and i'm doing really good at keeping busy, last night i fell asleep at 10 oclock first time in a long time! i've been staying out till 1 or 2 in the morning! i needed a good sleep. my cat was nice enough to bring me another mouse last night...this one was already dead in a mouse trap...i don't think beau beau understood...
6. christmas is almost here! which means my birthday is almost here!
7. keep checking for flights back to bdos....i miss it. lind you lucky girl! soak up the sun for me!
8. Natalia walked today down the end of the hallway! she is doing amazing! yay!
what a good day eh?
1. I'm going to the rae spoon concert with my best girl tonight. so excited.
2. started levo, oxygen coming back slowly I think? (will update on clinic appt. tomorrow)
4. have been able to up my running program to 1 45 seconds x 5 on my work out! woo almost to the 2 minute mark, never thought i'd see the day.
3. shot my jewellery today. took a million hours. so much work. but it's done. website updated tomorrow.
4. i'm going to hear some great music tonight...just so excited.
5. my weekend is jam packed...keeping busy has been key, and i'm doing really good at keeping busy, last night i fell asleep at 10 oclock first time in a long time! i've been staying out till 1 or 2 in the morning! i needed a good sleep. my cat was nice enough to bring me another mouse last night...this one was already dead in a mouse trap...i don't think beau beau understood...
6. christmas is almost here! which means my birthday is almost here!
7. keep checking for flights back to bdos....i miss it. lind you lucky girl! soak up the sun for me!
8. Natalia walked today down the end of the hallway! she is doing amazing! yay!
what a good day eh?
Monday, December 7, 2009
Sunday, December 6, 2009
breathe a sigh of relief!
alright I worked out yesterday and i can breathe a sigh of relief! I was still able to do my normal work out regime. This week i hope to increase and push myself to one minute and 45 seconds instead of the usual one minute thirty second interval running spurts that i've been doing.
Bad news is, inflammation city is back with a vengence. I've been back two days from Barbados adn my lungs are tight and short of breath...no infection because my blood sugars are doing miraculously well. I even ate maple syrup and french toast this morning, without insulin! ladies and gentlemen sugar central and no insulin was needed. good news to no infection. but i am still having hempotisis every now and then...old stuff though...not sure what it is. Will ask the docs on Tuesday.
Tomorrow is a Hattitude photo shoot with new Christmas gifts for the website. Thursday I am going to a concert to see Rae Spoon click the name to listen to some of his tunes. Bah love them! "Come on forest fire...burn the disco down" very very good. Check him out if you haven't...and yes it is a male, even though it is hard to grasp because it sounds so much like a woman. Anyways good news on the exercise front! bad news on the asthma and inflammation front...maybe they will have something else for me to try some other puffer on Tuesday...I really do not want to increase my prednisone, but it seems to be the only thing to combat a tight chest....sigh.
Also another poo thing, my oxygen levels down in bdos were sitting at 96, 97 resting by the end of the trip, unheard of for me! (normal people sit at 98 oxygen and when you go below 88, that is when you require oxygen through nasal prongs) and now today they are bouncing around from 90-93....I am sitting here being cold with lower oxygen, tight chest...is it silly that I'm not moving to barbados? okay, okay, okay.... I'll move if EVERY single promises to come visit me....deal?
Bad news is, inflammation city is back with a vengence. I've been back two days from Barbados adn my lungs are tight and short of breath...no infection because my blood sugars are doing miraculously well. I even ate maple syrup and french toast this morning, without insulin! ladies and gentlemen sugar central and no insulin was needed. good news to no infection. but i am still having hempotisis every now and then...old stuff though...not sure what it is. Will ask the docs on Tuesday.
Tomorrow is a Hattitude photo shoot with new Christmas gifts for the website. Thursday I am going to a concert to see Rae Spoon click the name to listen to some of his tunes. Bah love them! "Come on forest fire...burn the disco down" very very good. Check him out if you haven't...and yes it is a male, even though it is hard to grasp because it sounds so much like a woman. Anyways good news on the exercise front! bad news on the asthma and inflammation front...maybe they will have something else for me to try some other puffer on Tuesday...I really do not want to increase my prednisone, but it seems to be the only thing to combat a tight chest....sigh.
Also another poo thing, my oxygen levels down in bdos were sitting at 96, 97 resting by the end of the trip, unheard of for me! (normal people sit at 98 oxygen and when you go below 88, that is when you require oxygen through nasal prongs) and now today they are bouncing around from 90-93....I am sitting here being cold with lower oxygen, tight chest...is it silly that I'm not moving to barbados? okay, okay, okay.... I'll move if EVERY single promises to come visit me....deal?
Saturday, December 5, 2009
great vacation!
Well I'd like the title of this blog to be home sweet home...but definitely that is not fitting, since it is not sweet, not sweet at all to be home from Barbados and the sun and the sea!
There are a ton of memories here. He is everywhere, yuck. It is hard to forget someone, when stuff reminds you of them, and is always in your face.
My dear friend K left a "Hattitude" dollie print thing on my desk! so cute when I got home!
Man best vacation ever though. I don't know, there is just something about Barbados that is just...great. 12 days is not long enough...it never is down there though eh? Already planning next trip back...that always seems to be the case. Once you get home, your always scheming on how to get back. Have a little more cash flow now that no trip to New Zealand is needed! Always trying to find a positive out of the negative, or I would go crazy. You should see the list I have compiled of positive things so far...some of them are teeny tiny, but hey anything helps right? Also planning my trip to Washington for January with my cousin to visit my other cousin...cannot find any cheap flights though! erg!
While I was away my cat totally had abandoned me and taken up residence with my younger brother. She was lonely. This is not any old cat...more like a dog. She follows me around, and knows her name, comes when she is called. Always has to be where I am....so she definitely was hurting while I was away...or so I would imagine...but alas when I got home last night, she totally snubbed me for the first hour, and continued to sit on my brothers lap. Thankfully today she has forgiven me, and is back to sitting on my arms as I type, purring her motor boat.
I'm terrified to get back on the treadmill today, as I have not "worked out" in 12 days! We are always walking in bdos though, so hopefully I will surprise myself and not be totally out of shape! One great thing about Barbados is that I don't constantly see people's backs. Usually when your lung function gets so low with CF a lot of us find we are always staring at people's backs. When I go out with a group, I can probably tell you which friend has the best butt, the nicest back, and roundest shoulders...etc since I am so slow at walking I tend to see this view the most ha, but down in Barbados...I don't see their backs...they see mine! Sometimes I would be walking faster then my mom, who hikes a pretty mean walk! I even carried the groceries on my backpack one day...Normally I find it difficult to carry anything, let alone walk a couple blocks with groceries on my back. Hopefully with keeping up with this running/walking program on the treadmill, I'll continue to increase my lung function and maybe back here in Canada when we go for walks people will start to get a nice view of my butt instead of the other way around! haha
I got another awesome horoscope today!
"With mind planet Mercury moving into your sign today you will find it easier to make sense of some of the things that have happened in recent weeks. As for the things that still confuse you are they really worth worrying about?"
Sometimes you just have to read it to reinforce it...is it really worth worrying about?? bigger fish to fry... like maybe some flying fish? (barbados specialty fish haha)
Tomorrow board games and wine night with some girlfriends. So looking forward to it. If you didn't know I'm a board games fanatic. Favourite past time. I have three shelves filled with just board games.
Christmas is coming. Feels weird when I was just wearing my summer dress and drinking a rum punch from a fancy glass yesterday afternoon? Although I did buy one Christmas present while I was down there. Still on the hunt for a baby Christmas tree for my apartment!
Also for the last seven months, I had a picc line...and for the past two weeks I have been picc line free! Feels great! FREEDOM
There are a ton of memories here. He is everywhere, yuck. It is hard to forget someone, when stuff reminds you of them, and is always in your face.
My dear friend K left a "Hattitude" dollie print thing on my desk! so cute when I got home!
Man best vacation ever though. I don't know, there is just something about Barbados that is just...great. 12 days is not long enough...it never is down there though eh? Already planning next trip back...that always seems to be the case. Once you get home, your always scheming on how to get back. Have a little more cash flow now that no trip to New Zealand is needed! Always trying to find a positive out of the negative, or I would go crazy. You should see the list I have compiled of positive things so far...some of them are teeny tiny, but hey anything helps right? Also planning my trip to Washington for January with my cousin to visit my other cousin...cannot find any cheap flights though! erg!
While I was away my cat totally had abandoned me and taken up residence with my younger brother. She was lonely. This is not any old cat...more like a dog. She follows me around, and knows her name, comes when she is called. Always has to be where I am....so she definitely was hurting while I was away...or so I would imagine...but alas when I got home last night, she totally snubbed me for the first hour, and continued to sit on my brothers lap. Thankfully today she has forgiven me, and is back to sitting on my arms as I type, purring her motor boat.
I'm terrified to get back on the treadmill today, as I have not "worked out" in 12 days! We are always walking in bdos though, so hopefully I will surprise myself and not be totally out of shape! One great thing about Barbados is that I don't constantly see people's backs. Usually when your lung function gets so low with CF a lot of us find we are always staring at people's backs. When I go out with a group, I can probably tell you which friend has the best butt, the nicest back, and roundest shoulders...etc since I am so slow at walking I tend to see this view the most ha, but down in Barbados...I don't see their backs...they see mine! Sometimes I would be walking faster then my mom, who hikes a pretty mean walk! I even carried the groceries on my backpack one day...Normally I find it difficult to carry anything, let alone walk a couple blocks with groceries on my back. Hopefully with keeping up with this running/walking program on the treadmill, I'll continue to increase my lung function and maybe back here in Canada when we go for walks people will start to get a nice view of my butt instead of the other way around! haha
I got another awesome horoscope today!
"With mind planet Mercury moving into your sign today you will find it easier to make sense of some of the things that have happened in recent weeks. As for the things that still confuse you are they really worth worrying about?"
Sometimes you just have to read it to reinforce it...is it really worth worrying about?? bigger fish to fry... like maybe some flying fish? (barbados specialty fish haha)
Tomorrow board games and wine night with some girlfriends. So looking forward to it. If you didn't know I'm a board games fanatic. Favourite past time. I have three shelves filled with just board games.
Christmas is coming. Feels weird when I was just wearing my summer dress and drinking a rum punch from a fancy glass yesterday afternoon? Although I did buy one Christmas present while I was down there. Still on the hunt for a baby Christmas tree for my apartment!
Also for the last seven months, I had a picc line...and for the past two weeks I have been picc line free! Feels great! FREEDOM
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
stick your body in the ocean and shake it all around
"I have been in [barbados] for ten days. My blood is made from the water of this place. I can feel it. How it slides through my body and shapes me."
I love Barbados...what a nice way to heal a broken heart, no? 2 week vacation in the sun?
I found this horoscope while I was down here at the beginning of the holidays, when I was still in a really sad place. It is a nice horoscope and I like it. So I'll write it here to remember it incase I lose the ripped piece of paper.
"Capricorn: This Winter your stellar work and enviable style will make you a frequent topic of conversation. April brings a promotion; romantic adventures are in store come August."
Seems like a pretty good horoscope to me.
It sure is hot down here in bdos. Me and my mom don't quite remember it ever being this hot.
We took a bus into oistins today to the fish market, at 4, when they were gutting and cleaning all the fish for the evening. It was quite an expierence...we didn't feel totally comfy...but not totally threatened either...it was an adventure...haha definitly lots of limin' goin on at the bars at 4 in the afternoon so you can imagine the types. Dad goes home tomorrow. Mac and Grandma left yesterday. I have been trying to avoid the sun, lying in the shade on the beach, yet still i am browning up just walking to the bus stop. I think the medication, cipro and septra are making my skin extra sensative to being tanned...at least I am not burning though...a little red in the face but I feel like that is again just the meds.
Since I've been down here, my acne on my forhead has also cleared up (again acne was caused due to the meds, prednisone!) Also for all you CF'ers out there...my mucus is SOO much thinner down here, it is like I am on pulmuzyme or hypertonic saline (which I guess in away I am on it all the time, breathing in the ocean air 24/7) all the time, it just falls out of you, effortless to cough up. sooo much nicer then back in canada, hacking away to get the awful junk up, which leaves you sooo tired (sorry for all you no CF'ers and too much info. reading this! hah)
Also my leg cramps which were caused I think from symbicourt and other meds, have dissapeared since I've been here, I tell ya...this is the place to be to cure: heart breaks, leg cramps, face bumps, anything that ails ya...stick your body in the salt sea, breathe deep in the air, and let yourself be healed! hah
Update on Natalia, she is in the step down unit (amazing that she is there already after what she has endured! no more ICU, yay!) and almost breathing on her own without the ventillator, Ithink only at night time. There is talk she might even be home for Scarlett's first Christmas. That will be great. I am sending positive thoughts that they have as smooth a ride as she can from here on out!
I love Barbados...what a nice way to heal a broken heart, no? 2 week vacation in the sun?
I found this horoscope while I was down here at the beginning of the holidays, when I was still in a really sad place. It is a nice horoscope and I like it. So I'll write it here to remember it incase I lose the ripped piece of paper.
"Capricorn: This Winter your stellar work and enviable style will make you a frequent topic of conversation. April brings a promotion; romantic adventures are in store come August."
Seems like a pretty good horoscope to me.
It sure is hot down here in bdos. Me and my mom don't quite remember it ever being this hot.
We took a bus into oistins today to the fish market, at 4, when they were gutting and cleaning all the fish for the evening. It was quite an expierence...we didn't feel totally comfy...but not totally threatened either...it was an adventure...haha definitly lots of limin' goin on at the bars at 4 in the afternoon so you can imagine the types. Dad goes home tomorrow. Mac and Grandma left yesterday. I have been trying to avoid the sun, lying in the shade on the beach, yet still i am browning up just walking to the bus stop. I think the medication, cipro and septra are making my skin extra sensative to being tanned...at least I am not burning though...a little red in the face but I feel like that is again just the meds.
Since I've been down here, my acne on my forhead has also cleared up (again acne was caused due to the meds, prednisone!) Also for all you CF'ers out there...my mucus is SOO much thinner down here, it is like I am on pulmuzyme or hypertonic saline (which I guess in away I am on it all the time, breathing in the ocean air 24/7) all the time, it just falls out of you, effortless to cough up. sooo much nicer then back in canada, hacking away to get the awful junk up, which leaves you sooo tired (sorry for all you no CF'ers and too much info. reading this! hah)
Also my leg cramps which were caused I think from symbicourt and other meds, have dissapeared since I've been here, I tell ya...this is the place to be to cure: heart breaks, leg cramps, face bumps, anything that ails ya...stick your body in the salt sea, breathe deep in the air, and let yourself be healed! hah
Update on Natalia, she is in the step down unit (amazing that she is there already after what she has endured! no more ICU, yay!) and almost breathing on her own without the ventillator, Ithink only at night time. There is talk she might even be home for Scarlett's first Christmas. That will be great. I am sending positive thoughts that they have as smooth a ride as she can from here on out!
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