everybody dies...not everybody lives.

I came across this quote tonight while watching a video my brother sent me of a CF warrior, kicking CF's butt. Check it out here 
Everybody dies....not everybody lives. My friend Bree sure did live.

Today my friend Bree passed away. She was taken off life support a week and a half ago...She was 25, full of life, and a zesty, spunky, red haired maven.

Bree was the one who first started me writing my blog. Bree was one of the people calling me and texting me every day after transplant. Bree LOVED her new lungs more then anything else.

It has taken me 10 months to finally say to myself "yes I would do it over again and again and again"....I used to ask myself every day, if I had to do it again, would I? I never really could answer whole heartily yes, and never understood why everyone would voluntarily go to hell and back again (i'm not saying this side of the tracks was not great up until this weekend, it's been fantastic! It's just getting here was horrific, but everyone's journey is so different though) but this weekend I finally was able to say with all my heart and soul...I'd do it again, in a heartbeat...in a single breath. I would do it all over again and again and again to be living like this, to be breathing like this, to be able to go and go and go and do whatever I want in this world. I finally knew what Bree was talking about, how she would do it again and again and again!

 Bree thanks for everything. Thanks for your smile, your positive attitude, your outrageous comments, your blunt little self, and your wild thick red hair. I'm so glad you are no longer trapped and as my friend Sean said at least you will get to thank your donor in person now. Love you always.

but i'm so so so so sad

but i'm so so so so so sad.

to my friend bree
who wasn't just an internet friend,
who was my real friend..
who i saw smile,
who i heard laugh
who i oogled over her thick luxurious hair.

to my friend bree
who got her lungs one year and 9 months ago
who fought like hell.

to my friend bree,
who walked me through the shit of life after my transplant
who only wanted to help others and be their mentors

to my friend bree
who knew so much
with her sarcastic wit
her funky voice
and short little legs

to my friend bree
who wanted to go the transplant games
who I was gonna appoint the liason resource person for our transplant house

to my friend bree...
who wasn't just an internet friend

but a real friend.

just being normal

Last night I went to my friends baseball game. Summer weather, summer activities, summer times. I was in the cheering section. It was nice to cheer and yell and not get out of breath. but perhaps the highlight of the evening was after the game (braves won by the way) was going out on to the empty field and jonny pitching a ball to me, me hitting it (out of the park of course) and running to first base. A) I ran..and B) I did it without getting out of breath AND yelling, "where is the base at, where is the base?"(I couldn't see the base, we'll blame it on the evening light, or lack there of) I'm really takin' these lungs a run for their money and worth.
some nice summer tunes.