today I am 24

Today I turned 24. For a girl who didn't know whether she would see her 23rd birthday with her old lungs, 24 feels pretty awesome with new lungs. Pretty freakin' awesome.

me in a room filled with balloons...I am 24 years old.  

me and Tristan

so happy

all my balloons he blew up to give me a room full of balloons on my birthday...plus 250 more

this guy

out for dinner

christmas time themed birthday photos 

Thank you donor and to your generous family. I owe you my world, my life, my everything, my breathing, my birthday wishes.

i took my new lungs....

I took my new lungs to barbados. I took my lungs swimming in the ocean.  We climbed up and over rocks. We breathed in the hot thick humid air. We went snorkling and breathed through that tiny hole. Me and my lungs went on an airplane sans oxygen. We went walking on the beach. The most beautiful, we didn't feel tired or exhausted from all that breathing. Me and my new lungs make one hell of a pair.

Ten days in barbados, where you used to have to plan only going swimming once a day, maybe once every other day, for fear of walking along the beach and losing your breath. Dreading going for a walk. Getting Prednisone hot flashes because of the high doses, used to be me...10 days in barbados with new lungs, low meds, and swimming swimming swimming. December is a good month.

my cystic sister!

My cystic sister lindsay got her call. She is the lovely lady who updated my blog so faithfully during my transplant. I'm repaying the favour, and you can check out how awesome she is doing here http://laby-lol.blogspot.com. Click here for Lungs Out Loud.

It was a really emotional day yesterday. 
I didn't know whether to be ecstatic for lindsay or sad or scared.
One of my friends who has CF passed away yesterday, Jessica. She was 24 and from orangeville. She went in to the hospital with a sinus infection I believe and just could not fight it. She had been sick and on IV antibiotics for 2 years due to catching the bacteria cepacia. The infection coupled with the bacteria was too much for her and she passed away. I never met Jessica in person, but we emailed each other back and forth. She loved her boyfriend and family and friends very much. I could tell from her emails what a great gal she was. She was always so inquisitive, and just seemed like such a sweet girl. I'm so so so sorry to her family, to james, and to her close friends. What a loss the world has had. Rest in peace dear Jess. I know what a struggle it is to breathe and you my friend struggled for so long. CF warrior you were my dear. We'll keep fighting the fight for you. CF is not fair. Not fair at all.

Christmas Jewellery show

I'm having a jewellery show at my home next weekend. If you missed the jewellery at the fashion show, or want to get a unique gift for someone come on by and see the collection in person!
If you can't make it to the show, you can always peruse my online store at www.GotHattitude.com 

what have I been doing?

I went to quebec. (the family and me went to montebello for a couple days. we had amazing weather and the food...hoy boy those french know how to cook, maybe thats why I chose to date a french man) 

I started working on my Hattitude Jewellery Show (it's coming up so mark your calendars! November 26th and 27th at my house) 

My mom booked our vacation to barbados (i have not been with new lungs. I have not swum in the ocean, snorkled, or ran on the beach yet...EXCITED...insert girlish school yard scream here) 

I gave a speech to humberview high school on Organ Donation....that was awesome.

I booked my flight to Vancouver. (I'm beyond excited for this one. No scream will suffice. I am moving to vancouver for four months with Tristan. We are moving right down town. Subleasing an apartment. I heard cheese is hella expensive out there? Not sure how I will survive without cheese. I might have to pack a whole suitcase just dedicated to cheese! We plan on being in vancouver for 3 and 1/2 months, then for 2 weeks road tripping down through the states, seeing seattle, maybe go to San Francisco, then flying out of LAX airport home? Thats a pipe dream right now anyways. )

I started playing volleyball. (I joined a volleyball league. It is SO much fun. Each week I keep getting better and better, but I sure was no athlete at the beginning. Our team is made up with a bunch of people bringing other people. It's fun not knowing the whole team, but we have a great group of people so far. )


I honestly just can't wait for all these adventures. I've been feeling awesome, which is a great change. I have started going to yoga each week, and an exercise class as well. I cannot begin to tell you how wonderful it is to be able to do yoga again, without getting those darn oxygen deprivation headaches. How awesome it is to run and play volley ball and shout and not need to sleep for a million hours afterwards to keep up.

I cannot wait to move out to vancouver! tell me that isn't a crazy awesome adventure I never thought I would get to have! sigh....life is prettttyyy prettyyyy pretty freakin' awesome right about now... (man oh man...whisper that in my ear 16 months ago, and I would not have believed you, how spectacular life gets. How you fight like hell, go through hell....and then life throws ya a little piece of heaven. Karma?)

"Anyone Can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."
 --- to everyone going through transplant, waiting or having difficulties after their transplant...it gets easier...and just remember...you can breathe now. I promise one day it will all be a distant memory, a faded glimpse in the fabric.

that time I went to the rockies....

I went to the rockies about two weeks ago to visit my best bud Ian.

It was the best time!

Flying on a 4 hour flight. Carrying JUST a backpack and my purse on to the plane as my carry on (usually my carryon is a full on suitcase, having my old compressor, nebulizers, medicines, and countless other puffers, and useless other things that used to keep my old lungs still kickin'. These days my carry on bag is more of a "if i feel like putting it in there for my own comfort I will"...magazine, gummie bears, noise cancelling headphones, i pod, book, avocado sandwhich (thanks Ian)...only stuff that I want to bring (oh and of course my insulin and pill pack for the week, but that is so tiny compared to what I used to have to bring)

I teared up a couple times, I'm not going to lie when I got to climb up the side of the 2nd tallest waterfall in the world. I loved that I was out there doing things. We went to: Moraine Lake. Went to Lake Louis. Canoed on Emerald Lake. Saw the natural bridge and climbed on Takakkawa Falls. We also managed to take 316 photos and 116 videos. The videos are my favourite part. Such a great montage of memories.

Enjoy the photos of me rockin' out these new lungs and newly regained back muscles!

me...and the rockies...neat-o!

lake Moraine

me and my best bud Ian. he lives in calgary.

Live and Give. Beadonor.ca Save a life, like mine was! 

we like to canoe.

Takakkaw Falls. 2nd largest falls in Canada! 

i love life. 

getting my climb on. 

awesome adventure. 

that time I went to the leaf's game....

This is a year of so many firsts. Things I was never able to do, or never had the opportunity to do.

Last night I went to the leafs game. My very first one! It was such a crazy wild feeling seeing the ACC like that for the first time.

Is it the new lungs? 
but everything just seems THAT much better in life now!

my first glimpse of the ACC 

third from the left. represent.

he's a big fan. trying to convert me.

for the night I was a big fan too. vintage shirt, of course!

he makes me laugh. (and also look like a witch? at least it's halloween soon)

there's the money shot. afro and all. he's cute, no? 

FUN night!

a walk in town

the best feeling in the world.

getting offered a ride home, but saying "no thanks, it's a beautiful day. I am alive and can breathe. I'll walk home." 

hit 'em out of the park

This weekend was the "Country Strong Baseball tournament" for a great girl, Heather, who lives in our community who was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. 

There was 16 teams in the tournament, all raising money and coming together with so much positive thoughts, energies and everything good in this world, to help out her and her family. 

The first night it was POURING rain. We played in the mud. but I still loved every minute of it. It doesn't matter what it is, as long as I can breathe and am running around, doing something, life is blissful. 

The second day, we really found our groove. We won every game and the sun shone ALL day. It was like a summer day. It was so beautiful. Such good vibes for Heather. 

I particularly like Kath's face in this photo

our team. Hattie's Heavy Hitters

KIMMMMMyyyyy love. 

cousins. 

ladiesssss

live and give. baseball team 2011. 

also can I get a triple scream...
1. i'm going to calgary on wednesday! AHHHH
2. I don't have cancer!! AHHHH
3. Life is so absolutely beautiful and wonderful right now! AHHHH


3 screams for ice cream. 


home run hattie 

singin' in the rain

let me paint a scene for you.

picture a cute boy, a nice girl, and an umbrella.
the city lights.
the rain.
the sky scrapers.
birthdays.
jazz bars.
singers.
puddles.

laughter. smiling. singing in the rain. Glowing and beaming from the fantastic news from that day.

My MRI results came in. I am cancer free. No more PTLD. Mass has been deleted.

The future is...limitless.

a hiking we shall go.

I'm going to calgary in 8 days!!!!!!!
Yes Yes Yes.
I'm so excited.
Second trip with new lungs.
Flying by myself.
Carrying my own luggage.
The best part? hiking ALL over banff and everywhere. Those mountains don't stand a chance. Good thing mama D got me hiking boots for christmas last year. Although at the time I thought when am I ever going to want to use those boots....fast forward 9 months...the answer: ALL the time.

Thank you donor for making this the best time of my whole entire life. thank you. thank you. thank you.
Life is so great right now.
Life is so wonderful right now....it takes my breath away.

Let me try to remember and encapsulate this feeling of euphoria for my appointment tomorrow with the oncologist. Heres to positive thoughts, energies and everything good.

donor family video

Here is video made by the Lady Team + Nik for the CF for CF 2011 fashion show.
It was really hard to re live these memories when it was being put all together. I think it was really well done though in the end.


Untitled from Hattie Du on Vimeo.

the year to live.

I've spent the last week in a bubble...a normal person's bubble. No medical terminology, no problems, no worries. I took a week ...maybe 3 weeks? or so... off after the fashion show.
This past week was spent with my boyfriend, playing frisbee in the water... diving jumping, splashing....swimming for the first time in years without a picc line in. It was the best feeling in the whole wide world. I LOVE swimming. Feeling the water swoosh over you... I don't think there is any better feeling.
I spent the week playing catch on the beach, visiting restaurants in cottage country...and I finally got my long walk on the beach....
In two days time, I have an MRI booked, dye and all to see if the mass has shrunk with the chemo from this past summer.....back to reality? My medical reality?
Bubble popped.
Oy.
Next wednesday is my appointment with the oncologist.

This weekend is going to be spent finishing up the last of the cottaging season.  I've kind of been in a state of euphoria ever since the fashion show ended. Life has been going so lovely.
In preparation of being "healthy" and me not getting along too well with the cold, I'm already preparing all my trips for the next 5 months. I'm heading to calgary on September 28th. Then to Barbados a month and a half later in November. Last year was the year of recovery...this year is the year of living. The year to live.

me and my family (except the little brother, who was off fighting forest fires) at the fashion show this year

my best friends at the fashion show this year CF for CF 2011

fashion show "Ozomozis/Envy" video

incase you missed the fashion show...here's a video someone did up of the evening!

http://vimeo.com/28380085


Cystic Fibrosis: Fashion Fundraiser from Different Levels on Vimeo.

How awesome were these videographers? amazing. Check out "Different Levels" the amazing guys behind this video, on facebook by clicking here

3 days

it's 3 days before the fashion show...and i'm feeling a whole swell of emotions. I am so so so proud, amazed...in complete awe of the Lady Team. This group of girls is out of this world.
This year is so different. This year i'm just one of the girls on the committee. I go to meetings, I carry out the jobs, I have dinner dates with Kim (the director and power house woman of the hour) and discuss everything down from what shoes the models should wear, to what the stage should look like this year....I'm just 'normal' this year. 


So it has not really hit me.... until this week, even until this morning, when I really sat down to write a little speech, that...last year...everything was so different. I was the sick girl, toting around oxygen to meetings. I was the one desperatly trying to breathe, trying to get through the day. I was trying not to let the pager attached to my hip consume all my thoughts, willing and praying for it to go off, so that all this awfulness that I was living could finally stop and I might be able to breathe. 


Was that really me? Was I really that girl? 

I'm not the sick girl toting around oxygen anymore. This year. I've put all that behind me...i'm no longer that girl who I was 14 months ago, in more ways then just two. Today it all came flooding back. All the struggles, the heart ache, the pain, the suffering...the hell of it all.
It's not fun to remember, when life seems so normal now. When life seems so great now.

....better get back to finishing up my Hattitude booth for the show, and this speech. See everyone Thursday at the fashion show Thursday August 25th, at the royal ambassador. Check us out. www.cfforcf.com -tickets still available. Because of infection control issues, we're asking no other CF'ers attend the event. Sorry and Thanks! See ya on the flipside

also i've noticed me walking on my tip toes ALL the time, dancing, brushing my teeth, cleaning up my apartment...because13 months ago...I couldn't walk on my tip toes. Even 6 months ago I was still too weak to walk on my tip toes. it feels good to walk on my tippy toes.

it's a celebration

BOOM...FINITO. I finished my 4th and final round of chemotherapy on tuesday morning at 11 30 am. hallelujah! I can confidently say, it was a walk in the park. Besides being annoying, time consuming etc...Chemotherapy (at least this light kind) is not so bad...(weird? strange? that I can write that...besides the fact that there is poison coursing through my veins right now?) I felt no nauseousness, and only was tired from the pre drugs they gave me for any reactions, but still managed to go out to a little pub with my cousins for one of my cousins birthday.

I'm currently sitting at the cottage now, the sun is shining, and I'm waiting for my cousin to wake up to eat breakfast...oy she sleeps late.

Sometimes fate has been throwing me odd things lately! Strange things have been happening with me, with coincidences and people....I'm taking it as a good sign, that there is a plan? Somewhere, something or someone clearly has a plan...for all this crazyness that seems to happen to me. Everything happens for a reason? I'll believe it.

I went bike riding last weekend at the cottage. Never have I ever appreciated every single pedal, every single swooping and turn of the bike. Feeling the wind blowing past me, and being able to still talk, and push and ride and zoom...I can't quite tell you how much I appreciate it. Sometimes it just fills me up and is so overwhelming thinking about just how disabled I was a year ago.

Last weekend, the bolton braves baseball team wound up on my beach, coupled with other cottage friends...made for one heck of a beach party.
My favourite part? Throwing the frisbee, and running, diving, catching it on the beach. When will I stop noticing what everyone else just does on a normal basis? I'm not sure if I ever will.

I'm getting nervous about my speech for the fashion show www.cfforcf.com...20 days left. Sitting down and writing an out line is a must for this weekend. Have you bought your tickets yet? (due to infection control, no other CFs are asked to attend the event) If you haven't you can get them from any of the Lady Team ladies, or online, or from the Bolton and Orangeville scotia banks!

Today is thursday which means it's flea market day at the cottage. Can you believe I have not been ALL summer long? If you know me, you could almost say that was sac religious!

This weekend thunder showers at the cottage? No thanks. I hope it's just a false...I need to set up the hammock still and finish the second Millennium trilogy book.

Well so if you do not hear from me for awhile...it's because I've been recruited for an ultimate frisbee team and am now on the front cover of some sports magazine hamming it up with the other athletes. ha but really I'm probably just running around, in amazement and wonderment getting ready for the fashion show, on this crazy high, that I have this energy and breathing ability to be doing everything I ever could never dream of before...

beach party

buds

elite athletes

goofs

winning

they came in boats

beach balls. a must. on the beach 

niamh!

loves.

swins.

beauty.

sunsets.

hillside music festival

"i saw horses from my window, they were watching all the cars go, they don't care that i am broken, close my eyes and run beside them" - Dala

me and ginn

kim, dixon, and me at the island stage

the main stage

nicole and I

HILLSIDE

friends