Christmas Jewellery show

I'm having a jewellery show at my home next weekend. If you missed the jewellery at the fashion show, or want to get a unique gift for someone come on by and see the collection in person!
If you can't make it to the show, you can always peruse my online store at www.GotHattitude.com 

Snowflakes.

Walking around the city this year...HUGE snowflakes. So different from last year, toting an oxygen tank, dreading the walk.
Bring it on winter. Me and my cousin in the winter wonderland.






All I want for Christmas this year is for these lungs to keep on working, breathing, pumping. Keep getting healthy. My house this weekend. There was so much snow, we had a power outage on Sunday night, thankfully all the Christmas cookies were already baked!

original hardware

My grandma said to me this week, that I had not updated my blog, so this one is for G ma! (yes my grandma has a computer AND it's a mac. and she even texts!) It's been kind of slow in the CF and Lung world. Which is a good thing, cause my life has been SUPER busy outside of the hospital world.

Hattitude, my jewellery business (www.GotHattitude.com) is going crazy busy for the holidays. Everyone is christmas shopping. I have to get some new ones up on the site this week, they're all selling out for gifts.

I on the other hand still only have one present....GAH. It's not like I have not been looking, I just cannot seem to find anything good enough for everyone. I know, I know it's the thought that counts...but really come on... my family and friends have gone to the end of the earth and back for me this year. I don't know how I got so lucky, thus I would like if their presents could be just as good. Maybe I will wrap my chest up in a big bow, and stand under the Christmas tree and the lungs can be their gift? haha

This week I saw 127 hours, and it did lead to some inspiration as to what to get my brothers for Christmas.

We decorated the condo this week for Christmas! Our first christmas in the cityyyyy. (sort of, half the time I am there by myself, the other half it's just me and mom, but it's still fun to come home to a decorated place!) I cannot wait to get a tree for our house house though, and for it to smell like Christmas. This year I'll actually be able to enjoy going to cut the tree, instead of hauling my butt out the door begrudgingly in snow pants, and watching my brothers have a snowball fight, while I sit on the side lines, freezing, trying to catch a breath.

This weekend was the kick off start to Christmas parties. As I was sitting surrounded by all my family...I realized...GAH, this is the first Christmas without all my original hardware intact. I definitely last Christmas, was not thinking to myself, this'll be the last year with these lungs. I think about my donor all the time. I want to get my letter out to his family ( I think of my donor as a male...just some gut feeling I have) for this Christmas. It is going to be SUCH a lonely christmas without their loved one this season. My heart breaks for them.

I especially feel guilty because if my donor had not passed away, I would not be here...is it sick to be happy that someone else is dead?

No but that's not it...I am not at all happy that my donor is dead. I'm happy my family does not have to spend christmas without me, I'm happy I get to spend another Christmas and birthday (23 on the 23rd!) I'm happy I can dream of a future now, and that I am still here and BREATHING...but still I can't help but feel a little guilty that I am so happy to be alive while my donor was not so lucky. Especially at Christmas. It feels almost like yesterday that I was in the hospital. That four months ago, I could not even walk let alone carry a purse, or pour a glass of juice. The human body is amazing how it can recuperate, rejuvenate and breathe. I am carrying around a HUGE purse now. Loving that everything fits in to one place. I wear a big winter wool coat with pleasure, and I pour my own juice...haha

Five months yesterday and I was waking up to a nurse saying, "Hattie...your lungs are here". Thank you thank you thank you.

go go go go go...so busy

this is the first time i've had time to actually sit down and write a good long blog.
I like writing this blog, because it's something that I can go back and look on, and re read about what i was feeling, and going through at that point in my life.

Last Tuesday I had clinic...majorly dissapointing...my lung function was down for the first time in 5 months. I had been rock solid at .81 and even increased it to .83 a month ago...now i am down to .77...my white blood cell count was up at 17! the normal is 11, three weeks before they were at 20...so they were down a bit...so infection still though. bah! I just finished a course of cipro and septra antibiotics, but they didn't seem to do the trick. Cipro never really works. Anyways so my doc Dr. S. (amazing woman) put me on levoquin and upt my pred! ( I know i know i've been working for months to decrease it) but it seems to be ashtmatic symptoms so I gotta up the pred...anyways so I only upt it 1 mg so far no more of a puffy face then usual, which by the way totally goes down on the days that I work out. I guess the water retention like drains down or something after running and walking for 1 and half miles? 1 mg though seem to be all I need, normally she would have put her patient up to 20 mg but my body is just SO sensitive to prednisone that 1 mg seems to be doing the trick. Levoquin is also helping I think, I was able to back off even more on my insulin, and my SOB (shortness of breath) is decreasing, also my resting oxygen has come back up to 94, phew. it was bouncin' around all over the place, but since Thursday she seems to be stable.

One dissapointing thing this week, I have not worked out since wednesday. I know I feel gross! I have been SOOOO busy though. It's no excuse and I should have organized my time better, but stilll, Thursday I went to Rae Spoon Concert, soo fun. Friday had some girls over, Saturday Christmas house party in the city, and Sunday, afternoon christmas party and Sunday evening welcome home party...I AM POOPED. I have never had so many naps. I have not napped in months...in the last four days I think I have napped every day. Staying up till three in the morning and up at 9am is not my fortay for four nights in a row!
I also spent all three days updating and editing 150 photos for my website. Christmas is 12 days away! Busy time for jewels. I'm hoping I'll get a D40 or D3000 camera on sale in the holiday sales. Also I have done no Christmas shopping...I bought my dad a present before I left for barbados, but I have lost it...I hid it somewhere in my apartment and cannot find it for the life of me!

I cannot wait to just make some jewellery tomorrow, work out, and relax...no plans tomorrow night...hopefully it will stay that way, although the way things have been going, I'll probably end up doing something! haha
I have another busy weekend this weekend though, so I'd like to be low key throughout this week. Thursday through Saturday I am jam packed with things as well. It's good though...I'd be going nuts just sitting at home...thinking...keeping busy allows me only little glimpses of time to think about things...thinking about the things that have happened in the past month sometimes keeps me from sleeping...so I try not to?...

Next Wednesday is my birthday. 22 years old. Good gosh. what an old fart.

Alright so operation work out like mad this week, no skipping three days like last week! Increase lung function back up to .83 then .85 by January 5th appointment day.
Anyways I guess that is it for now! Hope everyone has their Christmas decorations up (I don't...but that's this week's goal too!)

great vacation!

Well I'd like the title of this blog to be home sweet home...but definitely that is not fitting, since it is not sweet, not sweet at all to be home from Barbados and the sun and the sea!
There are a ton of memories here. He is everywhere, yuck. It is hard to forget someone, when stuff reminds you of them, and is always in your face.

My dear friend K left a "Hattitude" dollie print thing on my desk! so cute when I got home!
Man best vacation ever though. I don't know, there is just something about Barbados that is just...great. 12 days is not long enough...it never is down there though eh? Already planning next trip back...that always seems to be the case. Once you get home, your always scheming on how to get back. Have a little more cash flow now that no trip to New Zealand is needed! Always trying to find a positive out of the negative, or I would go crazy. You should see the list I have compiled of positive things so far...some of them are teeny tiny, but hey anything helps right? Also planning my trip to Washington for January with my cousin to visit my other cousin...cannot find any cheap flights though! erg!

While I was away my cat totally had abandoned me and taken up residence with my younger brother. She was lonely. This is not any old cat...more like a dog. She follows me around, and knows her name, comes when she is called. Always has to be where I am....so she definitely was hurting while I was away...or so I would imagine...but alas when I got home last night, she totally snubbed me for the first hour, and continued to sit on my brothers lap. Thankfully today she has forgiven me, and is back to sitting on my arms as I type, purring her motor boat.

I'm terrified to get back on the treadmill today, as I have not "worked out" in 12 days! We are always walking in bdos though, so hopefully I will surprise myself and not be totally out of shape! One great thing about Barbados is that I don't constantly see people's backs. Usually when your lung function gets so low with CF a lot of us find we are always staring at people's backs. When I go out with a group, I can probably tell you which friend has the best butt, the nicest back, and roundest shoulders...etc since I am so slow at walking I tend to see this view the most ha, but down in Barbados...I don't see their backs...they see mine! Sometimes I would be walking faster then my mom, who hikes a pretty mean walk! I even carried the groceries on my backpack one day...Normally I find it difficult to carry anything, let alone walk a couple blocks with groceries on my back. Hopefully with keeping up with this running/walking program on the treadmill, I'll continue to increase my lung function and maybe back here in Canada when we go for walks people will start to get a nice view of my butt instead of the other way around! haha

I got another awesome horoscope today!

"With mind planet Mercury moving into your sign today you will find it easier to make sense of some of the things that have happened in recent weeks. As for the things that still confuse you are they really worth worrying about?"
Sometimes you just have to read it to reinforce it...is it really worth worrying about?? bigger fish to fry... like maybe some flying fish? (barbados specialty fish haha)

Tomorrow board games and wine night with some girlfriends. So looking forward to it. If you didn't know I'm a board games fanatic. Favourite past time. I have three shelves filled with just board games.
Christmas is coming. Feels weird when I was just wearing my summer dress and drinking a rum punch from a fancy glass yesterday afternoon? Although I did buy one Christmas present while I was down there. Still on the hunt for a baby Christmas tree for my apartment!
Also for the last seven months, I had a picc line...and for the past two weeks I have been picc line free! Feels great! FREEDOM