results are in...

My haemotolgist doctor called me on Thursday, and she told me my bone marrow is a very healthy marrow...cancer FREE. No lymphoma for me. Phew...that REALLY would have sucked. Seems the wonky blood is just caused by the all meds.

I'm finally also beginning to feel better. Ugh that was SUCH a long time to be sick. Sometimes it sucks not having an immune system. Thankfully it was just a stomach flu bug thing, so it did not affect my lungs.

Well it's been a little over 7 months since my surgery and I can actually say I was dying of laughter at the hilarity of a few stories, (which will only be shared in the presence of close friends, and when I'm so tired, things start spilling out) I was doubled over, on the floor laughing so hard my stomach aches today, and my two girlfriends were right along side with me, doubled over, and screaming in laughter. I had them entertained for a couple hours re hashing over some things that had happened in hospital. 4 months ago you would not have caught me dead a. revealing those stories, or b. laughing about them no less!

I often ponder and wonder about whether or not I would do it again...I get so upset thinking about all the other people who have to still go to the depths of hell and back again to get their lungs, and I cringe thinking about it...but it's nights like last night and days like every day NOW, that make it all worth while.

It sucks that we have to fight so hard to get here. But maybe it's worth the fight just for the high I get from living now, the sheer euphoria of being here, it's.....awesome.

Laughing without throwing up, staying out till 2 in the morning (although I did fall asleep watching the movie, but it was a bad one!), throwing dinner parties, living alone, rushing around after your car won't start, scraping the windshield...all without getting out of breath is one of the best things in the world....and hey memory and brain is a crazy crazy thing, since I'm beginning to forget 8 months ago...

bone marrow biopsy....thumbs down!

This past week or two, I've had this really weird ear infection head ache thing going on. So I went to emerge, but it seems it's just a virus, so nothing they can do about it. Then my nose starts running and my throat gets sore, and then I'm pretty sure I get the flu on top of all that. It's been an awful two weeks.

Worst part though is I go to a haematologist appointment, that I've been waiting for four months. My white blood cell count is very low, my haemoglobin is very low, and there is one other thing in my blood that is wrong, so they are not sure if the donor cells are attacking or damaging my cells in some way. Within 5 minutes of seeing the doc, my clothes are off, I've got a gown on, lying in the fetal position on the bed, while she shoves a big needle to the right of my spin, near my hip bone, to suck out some bone marrow juices....a bone marrow biopsy...I almost missed the appointment I thought it was going to be a waste of time. Yet, here they are doing a friggin' bone marrow biopsy on me. AH.

All I could do was laugh...because I was friggin SO close to crying ha I was just like...is this for real? Is this really happening to me? It's not enough that I had a torture chamber needle jabbing in to nerve legs two months ago, a transplant 6 months ago...but you have to throw in a bone marrow biopsy...which not only sounds awful, but left me hyperventilating and shaking at the end of the procedure. By the end of this year...NERVES of steel I tell ya. Super woman? True. Ugh...k What's next?