beginning to feel normal

I'm finally beginning to feel normal again. Before transplant my life was bombarded with hospital visits, oxygen tubes, coughing fits, and IV lines....I could not remember what life was like to go out with friends, life without having a curfew to get back for meds, what it was like to get in to a car without getting out of breath. I could not walk down the driveway without feeling as if I had run a marathon. I love to dance, and I had not been dancing in years...I cannot wait for the day that I can finally go out dancing again. Won't be long now. I get stronger every day.

Today climbing in to the car, no longer leaves me breathless. Today turning over, grabbing a pillow in bed, no longer leaves me gasping. Today I am living because of a selfless gift. Today I am living because someone decided to honour their loved ones wishes and donate their organs. Today I walk up the stairs (yes I can now walk up the stairs without holding on to the railing, still weak, but I'm doing it) and the only out of breath I get is from the effort it takes because my legs are weak, not from lack of oxygen or only having 12% lung function.
I now am able to make plans more then a day in advance, not having to worry, 'oh well I might be sick then. I can't make that, can't commit to that' CF changes to fast, I could never make plans a month in advance. Now I am able to make plans far in advance...It's a very weird feeling. Its weird and hard for me to think and make future plans, as I have not been able to do that for YEARS now.

Today I walk into my apartment and no longer hearing the humming of the massive oxygen machine, the dripping of the IV medicine, or the annoying fridge hum (yes we finally got it fixed! haha) all I hear is the outside leaves rustling in the wind, and then of course coming up behind me a little meow as my cat comes to see what I am doing. I cannot wait for the day that I can pick her up (she weighs more then 10 pounds and therefore I can not pick her up until after three months). I remember I used to judge on how sick I was getting on a scale of breathlessness when picking up Beau...I was 22 years old and did not even want to bend down to fill my cats water bowl with water because it left me breathless. I'll be 23 in a couple months. 23 on the 23rd of December. My champagne birthday. What a year this has been for me. It still boggles my mind that I got a lung transplant at the age of 22. It still boggles my mind that they can do lung transplants. I'm so grateful I did not have to die from this debilitating disease. I'm just so sorry that someone else had to die so that I could live. But living I am doing. I went out with my girlfriends last night....and to begin to feel normal is so wonderful. It won't be long now. I just need to build up my leg muscles still. My kidneys are still functioning high and they are sending me to a hematologist as they cannot seem to figure out what is going on with my blood....as I cannot keep getting blood transfusions week after week. My headaches have subsided. For awhile there it felt as if someone had thrown a tomahawk into the top of my skull. They also told me why I have been so cold after transplant, (on the 30+ days out I would still wrap myself in a wool blanket) they said it was because I was not used to having oxygen coursing through my whole body. I make oxygen on my own....no longer is my outfit defined by my nasal prongs....

I blew a 1.61 liters on my home spirometer this morning. I blew at clinic 1.52 liters on monday, 44%....slow and steady wins the race. I'm sure it will improve more once my leg muscles build up and I can work my lungs harder. For now I am just enjoying getting back into being normal, and making plans far in advance because I can....sigh...thank you thank you thank you!